yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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