To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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