ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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