Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Terrible idea I love it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Pants are for mortals
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
