is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
