It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
