dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
