someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize