As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
