Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
