I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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