Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
