so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
