i permit you to call me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She told me I should be a condom model.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Randomize
