I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
