actually, I'm a sock model
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
