Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize