hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
