I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize