Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You pole danced in your parka.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize