He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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