i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
