I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
