Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
