It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
