last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
