my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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