we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize