3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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