would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
