i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My Sexting was not on an AP level
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
