Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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