$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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