YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
