ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
