last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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