Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
