That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
