no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
