Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
