Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
