hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
