I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
