Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
