I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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