I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
