Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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