So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
