Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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