dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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