can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
