it was like his penis was on wheels.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
