is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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