if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
