I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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