No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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