This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
