when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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