Dual....:-)
If that was your dad, he is hot
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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