i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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