We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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