If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
