Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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