Please, let me fuck your mom
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize