is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
