Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
