Do you still have your period?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize