we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
