Im at strip club and am horny
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
